In Case of Relapse …

Every Monday we’ll post something to do with personal purity. Hope it helps.

In Case of Relapse —

Anytime you make changes for the better, you risk relapse. Ask anyone who’s dieted, quit smoking, or given up a bad habit – to strive for something better is to risk, at least on occasion, relapsing back into your old ways. After all, we’re creatures who are inclined to deeply ingrained patterns, both inwardly and outwardly, and we tend to default back to what is familiar. This is especially true of the man who’s turned away from a pattern of sexual sin and is striving to stay on course. He should, from Day One, accept the fact that he’ll be tempted to relapse. And that means he needs a relapse contingency.

I say this with some hesitation, because someone will invariably ask, “Does that mean you think a relapse has to happen? Are you saying that nobody stays clean?”

Not at all. I know for a fact that when a man repents, by God’s grace and strength he can and should stay clean. So a contingency isn’t something you put in place because something will happen; rather, it’s something you put in place because something might happen.

John seems to have written something along these lines when he said, “My little children, these things I write to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father; Jesus Christ the righteous.” (I John 2:1)

Notice the wording “I write to you so that you may not sin.” He’s saying “Don’t sin. You don’t have to. I’m writing to help you avoid it. But if you do sin, there’s hope, so don’t give up.”

So it is with you. You don’t have to relapse. You don’t have to return to using porn, or to fornication, or to any kind of unclean behavior. But if you do, then take these steps immediately.

First, notify. Decide now who you’d call in the event of a relapse. In most cases an accountability partner – someone you regularly talk and pray with who holds you accountable to your commitment to purity – is your best bet. A trusted friend, pastor or mentor will do as well. What matters is that you decide in advance who to call in case of relapse. Tell him what happened, and that you’ll need his prayers and support. There’s power in that, maybe more than you realize. What gets brought out into the open gets dealt with; what’s kept in the dark stays uncorrected.

Second, identify. With the help of whomever you notify, figure out what went wrong. To my thinking, people usually relapse because they slacked off on the basics: prayer time, reading the Word, etc. But there can be other reasons, so spend time exploring what you were doing before the relapse, what you could have done differently, and what you’ll do differently in the future to prevent this from happening again. Human error is a terrific textbook, so you may as well use it.

Finally, move it! Get back on track immediately. That means confessing the sin in prayer, of course, and holding tight to John’s promise in I John 1:9 that when we confess, He cleanses and forgives.

It also means taking the needed steps to help prevent it from happening again, and trying to learn from the relapse.

Then move it. You’ll accomplish nothing by wallowing in grief over a relapse, and there’s no reason to delay beginning again. Because if you refuse to start moving, you’re likely to yield to something more severe, which is despair. Sexual sin you can repent of. But despair? Give in to that, and you’re really finished.

You’re protecting a treasure when you guard your purity, so apply yourself to its longevity the way you’d protect anything valuable. (Priceless, really.) Recognizing its worth, you work, both to keep it, and to keep it in its best possible shape.

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