Blew It Again

Every Monday we’ll post something to do with maintaining sexual purity. Hope it helps.

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Blew It Again

Day has begun and I’m already sinning

Help me to change this heart that I have

Lord, help me taste of the grace that You’re giving.

I want to be a spiritual man.

– from “Let the Old Man Die” lyrics by Chuck Butler

When God puts His finger on a part of your life needing change, a new standard is birthed. Something you may have found acceptable is unacceptable now, making abstinence from that “something” a part of your new mandate. That’s the high price you pay for saying “yes” when God says “This has to go.” It’s worth it, to be sure, and it’s also a simple, common part of discipleship living. But to say “God has called me to stop doing this” is also a way of saying “I’m committed to resisting the desire to keep doing it.” Sometimes the desire is resisted successfully; sometimes not. And that opens up the possibility of relapse.

Relapse happens whenever you return to an action or behavior you’ve renounced. It’s often called “breaking sobriety” because it means you broke a commitment to abstain from something addictive; some would also call it a backslide. But whatever name the relapse rose goes by it smells just as bad, and is a thing to be avoided, guarded against, and yet also prepared for. It’s somewhat like John’s interesting statement about sin:

“These things I write unto you that you sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous.” I John 2:1

Clearly John wasn’t saying it’s OK to sin; conversely, he was saying if you do, you have an advocate. Likewise, when you commit to abstaining from porn, fornication, drunkenness or gluttony, you don’t by any means have to relapse. You can stay clean; there’s no reason to return to those behaviors. But if you do, you have an advocate with the Father who will cleanse and restore you. In that vein, let me offer a few immediate steps to take if, God forbid, you relapse.

1. Notify

Decide now who’d you’d call if you relapsed. In most cases

an accountability partner is your best bet (and if you’re committed to abstaining from an ongoing sexual sin in your life, an accountability partner really is a must!) since he works with you weekly and you’re probably in regular contact with him. But a trusted friend or member of your church will also be a good choice, or perhaps a pastor or counselor. What matters is that you know who to call and what number to use, and that you call him immediately. Tell him you relapsed, and that you’ll need his prayers and support. If you have a severe crises situation, meet with him ASAP.

2. Identify

With the help of whoever you notify, figure out what went

wrong. Usually people relapse because they slacked off on their prayer life, scripture reading, fellowship or accountability. But there may be other reasons, so spend time exploring what you were doing before the relapse, what you could have done differently, and what you’ll do differently in the future to prevent this from happening again. Human error is a terrific textbook, so you may as well use it.

3. Move It!

Get back on the saddle immediately, because you’ll accomplish nothing by wallowing in grief over your relapse, and there’s no reason to delay beginning again. If you refuse to start over, you’re yielding to a more severe, deadlier sin than relapse: Despair. Sexual sin you can repent of, but despair? Yield to that, and you’re really finished.

Don’t be. Relapse is a temporary set-back; despair is the end.

You’re protecting a treasure when you guard your purity, so apply yourself to its longevity the way you’d protect a valuable antique or piece of jewelry. Recognizing its worth, you work both to keep it, and keep it in its best possible shape.

The freedom of godliness, likewise, is a purposeful, challenging, exciting way to live, and keeping the ball in play is worth all the blood, sweat and tears a committed athlete has to shed. So let’s move ahead today, having just celebrated Easter, in the resurrection power we sang about yesterday, and let it manifest in the smallest and largest areas of our lives.