Every Thursday we’ll post something on emotional or relational health. Hope it helps.
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Something Weird Under My T-Shirt
Over twenty years ago I was speaking at a conference in Canada, my wife traveling with me, both of us staying in a friend’s home. The day I was scheduled to teach I woke early to get dressed. It was dark, so I groped my way around the bathroom, not wanting to wake Renee. After showering in the half -light I couldn’t find my deodorant, so I ran my hands over her toiletries, grabbed a container that felt like a roll-on, and applied it under both arms. Then I went over notes, grabbed a cab and showed up at the conference grounds.
Midway through my session I started feeling a burning under my arms. Since I tend to speak with my hands it was especially noticeable, but things went from noticeable to horrifying when I then felt clumps of underarm hair falling from my armpits into my t-shirt sleeve. I kept talking, but no longer with my hands, which I now held rigidly at my sides to avoid anyone seeing what was really happening. And all the while my mind raced until it landed on the only possible explanation: The deodorant I thought I’d applied wasn’t deodorant at all. It was Renee’s hair removal lotion, generously rubbed into my armpits. And working. Thoroughly.
I made it through my talk. I even greeted some people, though I passed on handshakes and hugs, then raced to the bathroom. I doubt anyone knew there was a problem, and I certainly wasn’t going to volunteer it, but there was something very weird going on under my t-shirt, leaving me anxious and vulnerable.
That’s life in this fallen world. We interact with each other without a clue as to what’s really going on under our t-shirts. Sometimes we should know; sometimes we should be more honest, volunteering our struggles, asking for prayer, confessing our faults. But other times a little discretion is called for, and some information just isn’t cool to pass on. Still, one thing we could always use, whether we’re in a place to disclose our private issues or not, is encouragement. Something along the line of, “Hey, I don’t know all that’s going on under your t-shirt, and I’m not necessarily asking to know. But whatever it may be, know that I’m here. I appreciate you, respect you, love you.” ‘
Because what’s happening, though hidden, may not be something as inconsequential as misapplied hair remover. It could be depression, hopelessness, rage or despair brewing just beneath the surface of someone we know, and for whatever reason they’re not feeling free to tell us about it. I’m hoping more of us take up the challenge to be encouragers, by simply reminding the people around us that they matter. I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt led to say something along those lines, then hesitated, then finally obeyed and blurted it out, only to find the other person breaking into tears saying, “You don’t know how badly I needed that!”
So let’s remember today the power of encouragement, unsolicited and given without any particular reason other than the desire to build someone we love up. Because even though they’re speaking normally and keeping calm, you never what’s going on under that t-shirt.
Comments
Scott | May 30, 2013
Beautiful post, thank you!
Tim Hayes | May 30, 2013
A great and hilarious story, Joe. Reminded me of the time I was playing a concert at a church in a rural town nearby ("rural" is the key word there). Although we were inside, I unexpectedly breathed in a gnat in the middle of a song, which ended up on my tongue. I kept playing but felt it there the entire time. I cannot recall exactly how I dealt with the little critter after we finished - maybe I simply smiled and swallowed, but no one ever knew. So often, I do not know the underlying issues others are facing, but the Holy Spirit does. When I ask, He gives me eyes to see the truth, and I can encourage as He leads. Thanks for the reminder.
TIm Carpenter | May 30, 2013
Priceless! You owe me a monitor Joe after I spewed coffee on it! Having seen you speak, I can vouch you vividly express yourself with your hands. Just be thankful you didn't mistake it for hair gel! Thanks for the reminder of we don't always see what's going on in others.
kenwadley | May 30, 2013
This is such a wonderful reminder, Joe. Thanks for your faithfulness to share!
Glenn | May 31, 2013
Joe, you are an extremely gifted writer and a blessing to others.
Jerry | May 31, 2013
Thank you, Joe
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