“It Contains Adult Language —“

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
-Ephesians 4:29

    We get warnings before watching certain movies on TV, explaining why a film is rated PG-13 or R. Often the rating is earned because of “adult language” – read ‘dirty words’ – so we’re prepared to hear expletive deleteds we normally would avoid.

I appreciate the heads-up. And I expect the need for it when watching a modern film. Never, though, would I have thought I’d need a similar warning before talking to a brother.

OK, before calling me a prude, Pharisee, or worse, full disclosure: I have not, after 43 years in the faith, gotten myself fully free from the occasional four letter word blurted out under stress. Just last week, I let off a couple juicy blue ones when I was frustrated over whatever. Right in front of my wife, no less, who was far from amused. So I cast no first stones here; my mouth needs an occasional washing out as much as anyone’s.

But I don’t think it was OK for me to swear. And when I do – thankfully a rare but real occurrence – I need to confess it as a sin, ask cleansing and forgiveness, and strive to avoid it in the future. That, I feel, is normative and required.

So I’m not upset that obscenity sometimes comes out of a brother. I’m just concerned that more and more seem to think it’s OK to swear, even chic, punctuating sentences unapologetically with words that used to get us sent to the principal. There’s a trend growing among us which seems to say it’s somewhat cool or manly to curse. And that makes me wonder if we’re expecting too little
from each other.

In a way, I do welcome a move towards us being “real” and earthy with each other. I’ve belonged to churches where the men thought we had to be so darned spiritual I really think we squelched any drop of testosterone that reared its hairy head. So given a choice, I’ll take a rough talking bro who acts like a regular guy over a pristine choirboy anyway. But I don’t see why it has to be one or the other. I don’t see that at all.

Not too long ago I was having lunch with a friend who’s a fairly well known leader. He and I got into a disagreement over this very issue when he told me proudly that he belonged to an informal group calling itself “Christian Men Who Say (way big expletive deleted).”  I was a little shocked and he picked up on it.

“You never swear, Joe?”, he laughed.

I had to admit that I sometimes did, viewed it as a sin, and confessed it. There we differed – he thought it was better to just swear and be honest about it; I thought I was better to try not to and be honest about it.

All of which makes me wonder, are we really proud of ourselves for being more like the world? Is it a badge of manly Christian honor to adopt non-believer’s practices? It’s one thing for brothers to indulge a little cigar smoking on occasion – another trendy habit I haven’t picked up but by no means criticize – or to tip a beer if their liberty allows. But does dirty speech really have to go along with the male
bonding package?

I don’t think so, and while I don’t want to overdo this subject (good grief, there’s plenty more important things to address!) I thought it was worth a mention today. What comes out of the mouth, according to Jesus, defiles the man. (Mark 7:20) As far as I’m concerned, there’s enough in the world that creeps in and defiles me on a near-daily basis. I hope, and I’m hoping you’ll hope along with me, that we don’t needlessly add to that defilement.

Anyway, just thought I’d throw it out there. We could do worse today than to consider whether our speech blesses or stains our hearers, and whether or not we feel it’s worth the effort to strive for the one, and avoid the other.

Here’s to keeping it clean today. God bless.