Graceless

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become [as] sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  – I Corinthians 13:1

I’ve had to look long and hard at what an angry man I can be.

It happened when I wasn’t looking. More than twenty five years ago I started experiencing those disappointments and betrayals we all go through when we’re involved in any kind of ministry or service. And good grief, we all know those let downs will come, so it’s not as if I walked into this work thinking it would all be lovely. Still, the number of people who jerked you around, bad mouthed you, betrayed your trust, disappoint you, or for whatever reason simply rejected you, can peak. So now, if I’m not keeping it in check, my rightful anger over sin can morph into a sour, overarching cynicism and even a mean spiritedness. That’s why we’re getting a dog. I need one. The relentless love of an unquestioning canine will go far towards soothing this Grinch.

Now, a large part of my anger has been over the inexcusably sloppy way many of us are handling truth, and over what I at least perceive to be a growing practice of placing emotions over doctrine; accommodation over steadfastness. I think you know what I mean, because you probably read the paper and follow the trends. Concepts of black and white and right and wrong are being chipped away at until they become gray and gray and maybe and could be. Whereas we once judged our experiences in light of doctrine, we’re now willing to revise doctrine to suit experience. So these days it’s common to hear that someone (even someone in leadership who truly should know better) has changed his position on hell, or sexual morality, or the divinity of Christ, or the need for repentance, all because they had some sort of experience that challenged those essentials and, in the final contest, experience trumped truth.

So I think anger is called for, to a point. But in my anger have I forgotten God is still actively working in the very people I’m disappointed in? Is my concept of grace so narrow as to dismiss them outright, overlooking their place in the kingdom and viewing them as enemies? Do I now want them to fail because we’re no longer in agreement, and am I making myself feel wiser, godlier, or better, by thinking (and talking) long and hard about their errors and thus giving myself a pass on my own?

Error is serious; sound doctrine should be the norm in every church, not the rarity. The Word of God is to be handled with reverence and discipline, and God have mercy on anyone who presumes to handle it otherwise. That’s all true.

But’s it’s also true that if I really believe someone’s wrong, then I need to regularly and earnestly pray for that person, talk it over with him if possible, and keep a balanced view of the brother or sister I differ with. Because just as I don’t want to be guilty of doctrinal error, I likewise don’t want to discount someone else’s ministry, wrongfully touch God’s anointed, or judge another man’s servant. I feel pricked in my own stubborn heart even as I write this, so obviously I’d best give it some thought: Whatever I think I have to offer, if I offer it without love it’s a clanging, unpleasant gong doing little good and much harm.

Or, putting it in modern terms, if I’m Graceless, then I’m Useless.

May all our hearts stay soft towards one another, hard towards sin, set upon truth, and drenched in grace.