“Regrets, I’ve Had a Few —“

“—but then again, too few to mention.”

Or so crooned Frank Sinatra in his signature ballad “My Way.” And if that’s really true, more power to the guy. Me, I had a multitude of regrets by the time I was ten, so I certainly didn’t reach middle age with a clean slate. I’m pretty sure most of us have some sense of falling short of our own standards when we review our lives. And that’s where we walk a fine line between healthy regret and unproductive guilt.

All of which comes to mind today because, while browsing Facebook, I hit on a couple items that were visually racy. Now, most of my friends are pretty conservative, theologically and socially, so suggestive photos are the exception on my timeline. But these items were titillating (many thanks for playing with my mind, Bro, you know who you are) and got my mind going in directions it shouldn’t, but does, and easily. So I did what you probably do as well: hit the “I Don’t Want to See This” symbol, said a quick prayer, and tried moving on.

Or not. Unwanted images are stubborn little imps, mental tics digging into your mind and urging you to scratch by returning to them, replaying them, building on them. It’s an old problem, somewhat like weight gain. Despite a plethora of new diets and gimmicks, I’m still pretty sure the basics of weight loss can’t be gotten around: eat less, eat smart, move more. If in addition to those basics you lock into something to help keep you motivated, so much the better.

Same with lust. James spelled out basics which, like their body-mass counterparts, can’t be overlooked:

“Every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed. So lust, when it has conceived, brings forth sin, and sin brings forth death.” (James 1:15)

Your own capacity for lust entices you to act on it. Nip the lust in the bud before acting on it, and remove from your life, as much as you’re able, things aggravating the problem. Those are the basics. And if you can lock into a motivating thought, so much the better.

For me, regret is one such motivator, and a powerful one. Because I will go down to my grave, or up to a trumpet call, regretting my past decisions to play with lust rather than resist it, entertaining it until it went from an occasional transgression to a lifestyle, costing me a marriage, ministry, reputation and, worst of all, a right standing with God. I rarely think about those parts of my past, unless I’m either addressing them in some public way, or dredging them up to remind me of where a seemingly innocent visual flirtation can lead.

I can’t help but wonder if King David used regret in a similar way. Surely he remembered, in his later years, how one wayward glance from the rooftop led to one of the most excruciating seasons of his life. And it’s not a stretch to assume he used that memory to help him resist when, at later times, he coveted what wasn’t rightfully his. After all, I doubt the guilt over Bathsheba’s innocent husband, or the sorrow over the loss of his child, magically “cured” David of wayward thoughts, severe as those feelings were. So I’ll bet he used them, remembering the tsunami a brief stirring can generate. And I’ll bet more than once that approach kept him in check. I know it does the same for me.

You might give this approach a shot, too. When the images, memories, or other such triggers hit you today, you can enhance your motivation to resist them by remembering the road they’ve led you down in the past. Certainly, I’m all for rejoicing in forgiveness, and reveling in our No Condemnation status. But an occasional trip down the dark side of memory lane has its uses, too. Even St. Paul on occasion mentioned his past persecution of Christians, letting the remembrance of his destructive acts generate all the more desire to live a redemptive, holy life.

We could all do worse than follow his lead. Regret over past sins can be a ball and chain or a useful reminder, depending on how we utilize it. So God keep us on track today, regretting the dark, walking in the light, and loving the journey.