New Whine

The blogosphere’s a glorious anarchy, which is why I cherish it. Anyone with something to say gets a shot, then the online community is free to decide who gets their attention, via support, criticism, mockery, or outright hostility. Other than knowing which icons to click, there are virtually no rules. No strangulating speech codes; no Big-Brother sensibilities to cater to. You have your say, and if folks are drawn to it, you develop a platform to say it more broadly. So long live this free speech zone where the First Amendment is experienced, not just idealized.

Oh, yeah, there’s a downside – not everyone will like you. Some will despise you. A few will even attack you.

I know, I don’t like it, either. Posting is like driving in that it inflates the worst in people, so road rage cruises the information highway as surely as it does the literal ones, and my, don’t people get nasty? But here’s where I’m starting to feel a little nasty myself: more and more bloggers (no names; no need) are talking less about their area of concern, and more about how mean people are for disagreeing with them, challenging them, criticizing them.

“You Don’t Like Me. You Really Don’t Like Me!”

Just over the past few weeks, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read very intelligent, competent bloggers with lots to say not saying it, but instead resorting to complaints about critics, painting themselves (to my thinking, anyway) as victims who should be taken all the more seriously because of how unkindly they’re handled. (Which is, I believe, the tactic of too many politicians, while we’re on
the subject.)

It’s as if the New Whine of 2014 is becoming, “My words caused a reaction, isn’t that awful?” To which I’m inclined to reply, as did the recently deceased comedienne whose style was less than tender, “Oh, grow up!”

And I don’t mean that as sarcastically as it sounds. I mean it quite literally, in fact, because doesn’t maturity require us to accept responses to our initiations? I throw a pebble into the pond; ripples flow. I throw a statement onto the blog; opinions follow. We accept that, or we should, and I think we online opiners also expect of each other some adult stamina, a kind of Here I Stand So Bring It On type of fortitude which nudges us to communicate and steels us against caving or complaining when someone says Boo! on our reply space.

“Ouch”

Not that words don’t hurt, and I frankly disbelieve anyone who says they’re completely immune to what others say about them. Each negative comment I get takes its little bite out of me, and I feel it, sometimes more, sometimes less. And like anyone who communicates in a public platform, I also enjoy the kind encouragement of people who essentially like and agree with my points. So attackers I delete; baiters I ignore; honest disagreements I try to engage; “Amens”
I welcome.

And yes, I have critics, deriders, and occasional attackers. There are literally no obscene names I haven’t been called over the years, and I must tip my hat to some who’ve hurled creative four letter combinations my way that my junior high football coach would have been impressed by. I’ve gotten the occasional threat, had terrible lies said of me, been ridiculed, shunned, misquoted, quoted selectively, dissected and dissed. I’ve also been legitimately criticized, honestly disagreed with, rebutted intelligently, and hated creatively. (My favorite example? When the far-left leaning OC Weekly voted me one of Orange County California’s “50 Scariest People.” There is, after all, something truly scary about me.)

But I don’t really think that’s of much interest to anyone, so by now you’re yawning and saying something like, “Well, Duh, Joe. Whaddya expect?” Which is precisely what you should be saying.

See what I mean? It makes little sense to whine about the inevitable result of what I’ve freely chosen to do. If we value our thoughts enough to share them, we accept negative responses as part of the bargain. I respect all people who take the time to post their ideas, regardless of how far their views veer from mine. I respect the chutzpah required to say, “This is my position, my criticism, my suggestion, my rant”, then let the chips fall. And I rely on those who do, to also accept feedback from their frequent critics and occasional trolls, along with praise from their constituents. Because if this relatively new experiment in communication is going to work, it’ll require us all to put on our Big Boy/Big Girl pants and contribute, spar, defend, then contribute again, like the adults we are.

So please, less talk about how hard it is when people don’t like what you say. We get it; plenty of them don’t like us, either. Let’s hear more about your ideas, your positions, your reflections, your criticisms, your creative thoughts and practical suggestions. We may not agree, but we’ll appreciate your contribution to this incredible online vehicle we’re blessed to have. And yes, by God’s grace, we’ll try to stay humble enough to learn from each other even as we differ. That, too, is the beauty of the blog. It comes with great privilege and moderate price, the bill requiring us to endure the not-so-nice and the occasional nasty. I really think we can afford it.

Can I get a Duh Joe?

Have a great weekend. Thanks so much for being here.

Love,
Joe