In Search of Stability

“Unstable as water, you shall not excel.”
-Genesis 49:4

When Jacob was dying, he called his sons together for blessings and predictions. He began with his firstborn Reuben, who should have received double inheritance and assumed spiritual headship of the family once his father passed. Recognizing his great potential, Jacob declared “You are my might, the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity and the excellency of power.”

Sounds great so far, and Reuben no doubt was getting excited, waiting for The Big Blessing from Dad, when the bomb dropped:

“Unstable as water, you shall not excel.”

Great Start, Poor Finish

What Reuben heard from his father could be said of way too many men: You have great potential and opportunity, but your instability will keep you from becoming the man you could be.

I hate to think of how many guys I’ve known who showed tremendous promise, but refused to reign in the parts of their character that were out of control. Like uncontained water, they kept crossing the line until their instability overrode their potential, and the end was devastating.

In Rueben’s case, an impulsive, contemptuous act on his part created the problem. In Genesis 35, we read that after Rachel’s death, Reuben had relations with his father Jacob’s concubine Bilhah. This was a scandalous act, making itself known to all Israel, and beyond the incestuous nature of it, it showed open contempt for Jacob and brazen, in-your-face aggression.

It couldn’t be erased; it wouldn’t be forgotten. So Jacob referenced it as proof of his first-born’s instability (Genesis 49:4) and his prediction proved true. No judge, prophet or significant leader came from Reuben’s tribe.

Notice how Jacob used water as a symbol of this, since water cannot contain itself but has to be contained. There’s a warning in that to all of us: Know your areas of instability, and manage them before they manage you.

The Pain Before the Pleasure

In answer to the question as to why Reuben would do such a thing, an event happening earlier in the family history could give us a clue.

There’d been a longstanding tension between Jacob and his brother Esau, symbolized at birth (Genesis 25:26) and culminating in Jacob manipulating his brother out of his birthright. (Genesis 25: 29-33; 27: 1-45) A showdown was inevitable, and when it came years later, Jacob went to meet Esau out in the open, but sent different divisions of his family to go before him, like soldiers
going to battle.

In such a formation, whoever goes last is protected by the ranks going before him, indicating a place of high importance. Normally that would be reserved for the firstborn – Reuben – but in fact, Jacob sent Leah and her sons (including Reuben) out before Rachel and Joseph, placing Joseph, rather than Reuben, in the highest position of protection and honor. And I don’t see any way Reuben could have missed the significance of that.

There’s nothing like an emotional wound to influence stupid behavior, and I’m convinced Reuben’s act of defiant lust had its roots in the emotional injury he sustained when he saw his Dad’s favor bestowed on the wrong kid. There’s a moral to the story: While there’s no shame in feeing pain, you’d best be sure it’s not directing your actions. Resentment hurts, medication is sought for the hurt, and if it’s the wrong medicine, then the medicine becomes the disease, and an entire life gets wasted.

You Can Do Better

But not yours, OK? The headlines are already too full of stories about influential pastors, politicians, artists and leaders who let their passions led them by the nose and, unstable as water, derailed their lives and aborted their own ability to excel.

So today, I’ll take note. The unhealthy tendencies I have (sometimes acquired by bad habits; others times adopted as coping mechanisms) need to be known by me, and also by trusted friends who’ll remind me of my blind spots. I won’t obsess over them, but I won’t ignore them either because, remembering Jacob’s chilling prediction of the son who should have become so much more, I’ll stay in search
of stability.

Because I don’t want to just survive. I want to excel.