Standing Your Lonely Ground

“Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you!” – Luke 6:26dove

Generally, you should consider what others are telling you. Occasionally, you should accept their direction, realizing they have insights you don’t. But at times, you’ve got to stand your ground, alone if need be, finding peace in knowing you’re right when everyone’s saying you’re not.

That’s a lonely place we don’t often visit. It’s also a necessary path to maturity.

I’ve walked it a few times, and last night while watching the new film Captain America Civil War with my family, I was reminded of just how lonely a place of personal conviction can be.

In the movie, Captain America is pressured by world governments and his own super-hero peers to sign an agreement of compliance. His conscience forbids it; he declines. Others see his refusal as rogue, arrogant, even unreasonable. But in what I’d call the truest heroic form, he stands his ground gently and simply, choosing personal conviction over group approval.

Daily life requires daily decisions, most of which aren’t monumental but all of which make or break successful living. The role others play in those decisions can be vital, and the guys I’ve known who’ve gone off the rails, in character and behavior, have to a man been the sort who wouldn’t listen to anyone.

So I take accountability seriously. I believe, as the author of Hebrews said, that if we live in isolation, apart from the healthy exhortation and feedback coming from relationships, we’ll kid ourselves into all kinds of nonsense. (Hebrews 3:13) I also take Paul at his word when he says we’re members of the same body, interdependent, neglecting at our own peril what other members have to offer us by way of insights, encouragement, rebuke, or empathy. (I Corinthians 12:12-27)

Separate me from the primary relationships in my life, with all the benefits they bring, and I’d be one sorry mess.

Yet at times deep personal conviction has to override majority opinion, even if that opinion’s held by the most trusted allies, and God help us know the difference between one of those times and our own egotistical leanings.

I remember, for instance, one of the most traumatic experiences I ever had as a young Christian. A ministry opportunity had presented itself, and I had to decide which direction to go. An older believer in leadership told me God had revealed to him what I was supposed to do, and that I mustn’t defy his advice or I’d be literally defying God.

Problem was, what God allegedly told him I should do ran counter to what I was convinced I was being led to do, and it finally got down to a contest between what I thought God was speaking to me, versus what this older believer thought God was speaking to him. And I knew that if I went where the Lord was guiding me, it would be seen by this man, and those who followed him, as a direct insult and challenge to his authority.

I was terrified. The prophet said one thing; my convictions didn’t agree, and if I followed his direction, I’d be ignoring what I really believed was God’s own direction to me.

Utterly bewildered, I decided to drive out to Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa and run the whole situation past Chuck Smith, a man I had developed tremendous confidence in. His own church’s service was just ending, so I waited in line to speak with him.

He listened, smiled knowingly, and said, “This is nothing new. Having the gift of prophecy or discernment doesn’t make a man infallible. Go home and read this chapter – I Kings 13 – and see what God has to say to you.”

It’s an obscure passage, one you may never have read. In it, a young unnamed prophet is sent to deliver a message to the King with a stern warning from God that he is not to stop in anyone’s home on the way to or from his mission.

An older prophet encounters him, invites him over for dinner, and the young prophet declines, stating that he’s been instructed by God not to stop in anyone’s home. To which the older prophet replies, “I’m also a prophet, and an angel told me to have you come into my home.” So the young prophet, taking the older man’s word and ignoring what God had spoken to him personally, accepted the offer.

For letting another man’s “thus saith the Lord” override his own convictions, he was eaten by a lion on his return trip.

Point taken. I called the man the next day, told him my decision, listened to his objections, then moved on. I’ve never regretted it.

Following personal conscience and/or what you truly feel to be God’s leading brings you to a peaceful, albeit lonely, place.

Obviously, it needs to be a leading that’s in line with scripture – I hardly think God will tell me one thing which contradicts what He’s already revealed in His word! But alignment with scripture and personal revelation can mean being out of alignment with the agendas and convictions of others.

That’s because it’s impossible to engage relationally without someone at times wanting something from you, which is fine. Tensions rise, though, when following your conscience means saying “no” to another’s desires or expectations.

So you choose between the peace of mind coming from obedience, versus the comfort of approval coming from those you’d prefer to be on good terms with. And while I’m the first to admit I’d love making everyone happy, I know there’s no way to live with any sort of integrity if you’re forever keeping the peace.

Sometimes our decisions are met with applause; sometimes the “boos” come from all sides, hurting us and encouraging us to reconsider our ways, cave to general opinion, and make nice. But I like the way Paul put it: “If it be possible, as much as lieth within you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18)

That’s preferable, but not always possible. Life’s not too nice that way – it will, at times, force a choice. When it does, God grant each of us the courage to value His will, and our obedience to it, over the approval of man. One brings comfort; the other peace.

And – hint, hint – the One we follow is not called the Prince of Comfortable Living.

Comments

Wayne | May 19, 2016

Joe, another home run! I have also been in a similar situation, and it was whether to stay in and complete a 20 years career in the Military.....or leave at the half way point to pursue my Bible College & Seminary training. Many people that loved me and my family pleaded with me, begged me, and gave me "good" reasons as to why I should stay in......but like the rebel that I am, I took God at His Word and followed His leading and have NEVER EVER regretted my decision as I know it was the correct decision.

Jim | May 19, 2016

You're so right, Joe. Having been in ministry for more than 40 years, I've seen examples of what you describe. In my last church, I had to make a decision that made some people angry, and they said some very hurtful and false things about me, causing serious problems in the church. As you did, I sought the advice of men whom I respected. This, unfortunately, came at the same time as I was beginning what would be years of clinical depression. I learned that standing firm in a decision doesn't always result in brotherly (or in this case, sisterly), peace. But I can live with myself, knowing that I did the right thing. Jesus certainly didn't do things because others thought he should. He only did his Father's work. Thanks for another example of using spiritual discernment.

Jim

charliehdz2014 | May 20, 2016

Wow Joe! I was EXACTLY on that same path about 15 years ago! I didn’t have anyone to go to though, but I went with my personal conviction (some call it gut feeling) and confronted the “prophet”. I told him, “look I won’t move out of need but out of conviction and this is what I have in my heart”. What made it really really difficult was that at first he was the one who helped us on our big crisis. Some people cross the line between serving people and taking ownership of them. I’m glad I did what the Spirit led me to do.

joshglaser | May 20, 2016

Needed this today, Joe. Thanks. (Not to mention, I'm happy for another excuse to make my way to see Cap!)

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